OFFICIAL WIFE: Something in the Mail

I knew I was getting something in the mail. Sometimes ya just know; ya know? Like when you ask your husband to place an order, he does so, and then items are mailed to you...

 --but soft? What purple hue through yonder bubble wrap peeks? (I want you to know that I wiped down my sink right after this picture.)

It's purple raffia and regular raffia! It's BOWS. I didn't know I was getting a PRESENT.

It's TWO. TIMES. the number of BOWS! It is Easter basket worthy already! --but what is a present you don't open? Wouldn't they be offended if I didn't open it???

Plus, it's lit in the diagram, and this looks mighty flammable.

They are yellower than I thought. Yes, I knew they were beeswax candles. Oh, I thought I was going to theme my basket green, but apparently I changed my mind. There's a lotta blue in that picture.

Oh, do you know WHY they are made of beeswax?

(You should always ask WHY.)

Because honey is tasty?

Maybe.

Because the monks need a way to make money?

Well, probably... but they do already have the revenue stream from the calendar!

Then, WHY?

So good of you to AST. (You'll get it soon enough.) It will be our inside joke. Everyone has TOONA, but we'll have AST.

Well, the answer I was given was that it burns without smoke. You're in a building with a bunch of expensive ?paintings? ?pictures?... okay, I'll say it: icons, and other expensive stuff (clothes, stained glass windows, lungs) so you don't want to gum everything up with smoke.

Did you know, though, that beeswax candles actually purify the air? I mean, it's common-- house plants purify the air. Trees purify the air, but those are plants so their functions are intuitive. Who knew beeswax candles purified air?

--and they smell nice. There is also incense involved in the Orthodox church. (Boy, do I sound heebie jeebie.)

It reminds me of Ezekiel 4:9... the bread that is. It never hurts to be a bit scared of things you don't understand. You just need to AST WHY. You may not get an answer or one you get, but AST WHY.

Oh, and my favorite professor (who taught Bible as Literature, introducing me to this amazing concept that the Bible was *gasp* a book!? a book with history!? Yeah, I was that dumb...) told me that science had proven that the day the Bible recommended as the time to perform circumcision was medically optimal. Yep, don't wait on science. It's way behind the curve.

A Lady Who's About to Play with a Bunch of String,

Alex's Little Cromwell


PS:  NEXT YEAR! :D