Saturday, February 22, 2014

OFFICIAL WIFE: Diets (again-again[again?])

I love creating things. I  was a crafter as a child-- bubbles, crochet, woodworking knickknacks-- but experience has really soured any creation that isn't useful. --and what could be more useful than food? Everyone has to eat. What I create these days, and I thank you for the opportunity, is food.

One of my many hats is event planning, and I'm at the point in a convention where I need to address special accommodation requests, which are almost exclusively diet. We've got vegans and vegetarians (rookie material!), some easily avoided allergies like mangoes and nuts, a mild pepper allergy--hard for the chef but easy for me-- and a Kosher and a Glatt Kosher (the latter being a first for me). The Kosher had her birthday during the last event and wrote me a thankyou note for providing the meals she wanted which was really nice. There's this awesome tool. Maybe you won't eat what everyone else does, but I can get you fed!

Today's readers will know, but I'll explain to the time travelers that for us this Sunday is Meat-tastic Sunday. We're leaning into the big pre-Easter fast, and practically (though this doesn't necessarily mean in practice) since this is the last week we can eat meat for a while, we should clean the house out of meat. But there are things called freezers. Then, there are also things called people. Oh, people. For some, this Sunday is Meatpocalypse. The calendar calls it "Meatfare Sunday, SUNDAY OF THE LAST JUDGMENT."

The next half Ortho couple is getting a lifetime subscription for their wedding present. Really. You can have no idea until you're on the other side.

The following Sunday is the same for dairy, but it's less of a big deal and more of a shoulder to the wheel, let's get into the fast day. The calendar calls it "Cheesefare Sunday, Forgiveness Sunday," in which a lot of kneeling and kissing happens. My dad used to do the same thing with some purple bath cloths you walked up to the front to get. Then you gave it to someone and asked forgiveness. Then, they were pressured to give it to someone and ask for forgiveness. Then, finally, some unlucky person, due to a population shortage, had to bring it up front again.... me. I just kept it. I am one of the most stubborn people, which serves me well sometimes. I think I'll keep that, too.

You can't make me get up in front of a bunch of people.

You can't make me talk to someone.

No, thank you. I'll have my emotional transactions on a one on one basis. I've walked down the aisle exactly twice in my life, and both times were traumatic. Me and God and Alex have plans to stick together, thank you very much.

Once, I slipped it to Ms. Vera and just hugged her. Old ladies are magical creatures who can fix almost anything. If they can't fix it, they'll at least make it less of a tragedy.

Oh, and I'm still trying to eat low carb.... less and less successfully, to be honest. Over on Pinterest, I've created a Low Carb Vegan board, and I'm reviewing my Vegan*Mostly board. I've noticed that the fast tends to have an opposite than intended effect. No, I'm not a rube. I know the answer is prayer, prayer, more prayer, and constant prayer to always seek communion with God. Gah. Accept that I am human; I have. In short, I'm a sinner. I am wrong. I am human. --I will be honest, though.

But speaking of, I occasionally through the grace of God do something food... I mean good. See? :)

This is me doing research on steamed pork buns. We bought a pork loin on the cheap, and this will free up most of that freezer space. There's a parade today so we went grocery shopping last night (NEVER. AGAIN. Why would anyone with sense leave the house after dark????) so I'll spend most of today (hopefully to our mutual enjoyment) writing this and working on the buns. After dark I'll sit down and continue rereading The Stand. I'll do laundry tomorrow and work on meal-planning for the next week. I might clean the floors...

Nope, I cleaned 'em for the house blessin'!

I might take a bath.

Nope, I took one for the house blessin'. It's all good until next year.

It occurs to me that I have no idea what we're having for dinner tonight. Tomorrow we are having two Omaha Steaks hamburger patties that I got for Christmas (See? I'm being a good little cook. I'm doing my job.), but today... I  might make mashed potatoes. Oh, that sounds good. A big pile of mashed potatoes and green beans and purple hull peas covered in ketchup with a side of cornbread slathered with mayo.

See how well I'm doing low carb?!

Oh, in case you think what I send to church is ridiculous, this is what I want to send:
Level 57 Grocery Shopper? Yes. Tutified Ickle Wickle Maker? Yes. The above? Nope, not a chance! With any luck, it'll look like the three in the upper right.

Ermagosh! It's so tutatacious!!

Boooooooo!!! I can't take it! I need a cat, stat!

Kitty is warming the lettuce seeds. Oh, our black krim plant finally has a tomato!
I think the secret is pruning. Who ever heard of pruning tomatoes? I've been growing tomatoes my whole life, since I was a wee lass, and never did anyone prune a tomato. But it works... so. Now you know.

I've had another gardening breakthrough:

No, really-- GUESS?!?!?!?


IT'S LEMON! Isn't that the cow's tail? The train's horn? The guy's beard? The totes meh goats? The bee's knees? The cat's pajamas? The weasel's whiskers?

America's Test Kitchen is airing Julia's homemade tater tots right now. Oh, and I recently read Consider the Fork which I found very interesting, if anyone wants to borrow it.O.o Cooking with Nick Stellino is coming on! This nice lady is teaching me, but I wish I'd had the foresight to get some pretty muffin tin liners... I might stick some toothpicks in them. Pretty toothpicks can fix any dish.

So the lemon plant.... It's not an original idea. I saw it on a blog in a similar container. She planted her seeds in concentric rings (so did I, but mine got swished around) and put some little pebbles on top. The plant was touted as an air purifier which also gave off a pleasant lemony scent. I can't attest to the former, but as for the latter, I'm not smelling it.

But the cool thing is that I learned something. They didn't sprout for quite a while, and I'd written it off as a dud project. Then, I noticed that the ones near the window had sprouted, and hadn't we just had a mighty cold spell, so why don't I turn this thing around. Whatdya know, they're like tulips! So if you do this, run your seeds through the freezer.

Rambling Rug-Hug Taxer,


PS: No really. If you're a cat, and you sit on my newly acquired rug, you will pay the cuddle tax. Rugs aren't free. They're $15, and they're the cat's meow.

No comments:

Post a Comment