OFFICIAL WIFE: Butter Lamb

pu-tuh TEW TEW TEW

*you have entered an Old Navy*

pu-tuh TEW TEW TEW

Go on and bob your head. Say it out loud, if you're brave... or no one is around.

pu-tuh TEW TEW TEW

pu-tuh TEW TEW TEW

pu-tuh TEW TEW TEW

Heart rate elevated? Now that that's over-- I decided to be super rational about my butter lamb this year. Not that I am ever not super rational... 

...about my butter lamb.

But let me go back to the beginning. Alex's mom sends him a lemony pound cake cooked in a coffee can every Easter. This goes into a basket that has been lined with a lace-trimmed white cloth, and carefully selected fruit is added along with a beeswax candle. This is how I knew that there were Easter baskets for adults. Sometimes you just know things; y'know?

Then. THEN. THEN!! I found this. (As an aside, everyone who's anyone reads this lady's blog, but no one seems to know her.) There are rules. There are instructions. I have a diagram!! --a diagram with meanings!!! This is all I need in life!!!!

So, from the beginning, the most fascinating part of this ensemble was the butter lamb. I imagined how the butter must have been carefully molded with fingers and cheesecloth, sunk into the well to harden, and presented to all who would see-- as an achievement at least as big as five birthday cakes in an era where refined sugar did not exist.

Boy was I disappointed that year.

But I kept trying. I tried with margarine, too. I carved and regulated my breathing. I got Kitty to help me. I smushed it down and reformed it, kneading the butter. I used sharp knives, toothpicks, skewers, and, of course, butter knives.

It looked vaguely lamb-like, but not anything I'd want anyone to see. I pouted. It's ridiculous how much emotional investment I put into the Easter basket every year.

Another year passed. Another succession of failures.

Then, I was talking with one of my friends (who represents 50% of the friend population) who happens to be Orthodox (the remaining 50% is an unaligned Christian, very similar in beliefs to myself). On top of the fact that I was doing a basket at all (They are more traditional American, with baskets of candy for kids.) she thought this was hilarious, "You tried to carve it?" lol "I can't believe it! No." lol "No. That's too funny."

I raise my eyebrow at you lady. Yes, you. I raise it!

Within moments she had returned from the intertubes with a link. I started laughing.

Oh, self. You crazy you.

Well, it's still kinda hard... Last year was the first year I was able to complete the diagram. There were many attempts at the butter lamb before I could place the final version in the basket. I sat for hours with a toothpick in hand (which isn't unusual).

So!-- as Lent began this year, instead of putting the butter in the freezer, then later letting it thaw, then later letting it get to moldable temperatures, I skipped the freezer. I coated two sides of the mold with regular butter, then made honey orange butter to fill it. The idea was, the outside would look the same, but the inside would be extra flavorful, and wouldn't that be nice on lemony pound cake Easter bread? Then, I wrapped up the remaining flavored butter, and it all went into the freezer.

Well, I pulled it out, hit auto defrost on the microwave (haha), and put the two sides together:

There's still time...

I'm sure CNN will keep you up to date on this important dish.

Oh, I want to do this next. I also want to keep bees and make candles. You may think I'm ambitious, but I just call it long-term planning.

I planted the Kitty-squished lettuce sprouts in the Eastern container. It looks pretty horrible, but the water will pull the roots down and the sun will pull the leaves up and it'll be right as rain next week. Yep. Uh-huh. *spits*

Being a good little girl from the country, I insisted on having a garden once I owned dirt. (The mosquitoes won. I'm terribly allergic.) One year, I planted a 2'X2' area of spring mix. The red romaine still volunteers:

 --then above that--

--another--

It tastes awful, though. We don't have "sweet" dirt, but SomeBunny doesn't want to lime it. Oh, well, I can container garden. Meanwhile, he'll tell you about adventures with toilets.

I need to put something in this:

Let's have a vote! A contest! Put your suggestion in the comment section below. What should I plant in here? Am I just trolling for comments? Well... I must admit that I bought a six pack of Sweet William (old lady speak for dianthus) and a 6" of Lavender Trailing Lantana (In old lady, this is yarrow which butterflies like, but I've only seen it in warm colors before.) from the reduced rack. Ninety-four cents and a dollar respectively. We'll see.

 This is where I put the paperwhites, which were for my side of the couch, while I took that picture.

AND. In case you think I showcase one of my six animals above all the others (pooh hah! Like I wouldn't be fair) here in all his chairback glory is the Tots. You can call him Trotsky.... or Pond Scum. He was covered in ringworm when we got him. Alex took me out for a drink for my birthday, and we came home with a ickle wickle kitten witten... from under a cabbage leaf.

Trotsky is male, but he has built in make-up. I like the markings around his eyes, in particular.

Love and not-cookies-but-still-really-really-cool-and-pretty-healthy-wait-until-you-see-tomorrow,


Alex's Wife

OW Vegan LOW CARB: "Fried" "Rice"

Author's Note: Original draft started 3/6/14

Before, I had been exposed to Lent as a time of sad restraint. I get the idea of distancing yourself from worldly things, but the sad part... It's not all sackcloth and ashes, hairshirts and whips. I can say that not because I'm an authority but because it just can't be.

I know. I also know that peanut butter and bananas are delicious together. Even peanuts (which are healthier) and bananas are scrumptious. One grows in a tree and one in the dirt, and thank God for the ingenuity to put the two together!

Then, this Lent, I read that-- the fasting portion, at least, is also about being healthy. That jives. Being sad for forty days isn't healthy. God wants you to be healthy. He's looking out for you like that.

This was the closest thing to unicorns eating broccoli that I could find.

I made this last night and had it with sauteed mushrooms:

182cal 17carb 9fat 12pro 15%iron (5% from the 1/2t and 2cal of thyme on the mushrooms-- Ladies, especially young women, thyme yourself up!)

This evening on the way home Alex said, "I need to stop by Catholic Best Friend's," who, with his wife without his children, is going to Israel, "so he can do superstitious things with my prayer rope."

"Like what?" I asked before I could stop myself. Mouth. Stop. Stop now.

"Like laying it on St. George's...." at which point my brain caught up with my mouth and my ears. I have no idea what else he said.

After some careful consideration, "For you or for him?"

"For me."

"Do I really need to know that?"

And we laughed. But... no, I didn't need to know that.

--and now I shall rub my lucky rabbit's foot. No. I do not own this.

--and now I shall daub my ickle wickle Kitteh onto my face as if she were a powder puff. She's not lucky, but she makes me feel better. She is the best behaved cat EVER. Putty. In. My. Hands. Ask the priest. He waved at her. AND SHE WAVED BACK!!!

Immediately from this, we began to discuss the idea of offering an OLLI course on Orthodoxy. Him enthusiastically, and me from a logistical  perspective: who? too burdensome? qualifications?

Pervasive much?

Tonight, I'm having leftover "Fried" "Rice" with shrimp. If vegetable oil is permitted on non-oil days, but olive oil is not because, I was told, olive oil is expensive, "Why then," I asked yesterday, "is shrimp okay throughout the fast?" I got a couple answers.

Back to today, as we entered the house after work, "I don't change my mind. You're just not willing to admit how nuanced it is," said by the Orthodox man.

Pervasive much? Yes.

Oh, they finally locked up my unwelcome visitor from Saturday before last. One down, a bajillion to go.

"Fried" "Rice"

• 2c cauliflower florets (243g)
• 1/2 small red onion, diced (33g)
• 2 cloves garlic, minced (6g)
• 4" big end of a carrot, cut into interesting shapes (47g)
• 2 red bell peppers, sliced (78g)
• 1/2" ginger root, cut into interesting shapes (7g)
• 12oz silken tofu (336g)*
• 1T Bragg's Liquid Aminos or soy sauce
• 1t red pepper flake
• 1/2c shelled edamame (40g)

Run the cauliflower through the food processor until it's particles are around the size of grains of rice.

In a non-stick skillet, sautee garlic, onion, ginger, and carrot. Once fragrant, add the cauliflower and silken tofu. Sautee, mixing thoroughly, until the tofu is also around the size of grains of rice. Continue sauteeing until all the contents are cooked to your liking. Add the Bragg's, pepper, and edamame. I read several recipes that called for vegetable broth, but as you can see, I had to let the existing liquid cook down:

Serving Size: 1c (180g)                               3.5 servings per recipe

102cal | 3.6fat | 11.8carb | 7.5protein | 3.1fiber | 254sodium Complete Nutrition Info

OFFICIAL WIFE: Spring!

I am battling plastic wrap! I am battling plastic wrap FOR YOU! For you, because you're special. Many pieces of plastic wrap have been sacrificed in this epic struggle.

I have the fear children do when they present a drawing.... but I have the ingenuity of the artist who accepts that the medium sometimes chooses its form and subject.

I will succeed with the flavor of blue cheese.

Success is pungent.

Last Saturday, before the world fell apart, life was better than usual. Much better. It might have been the best preparation for the apocalypse. I made something new and tasty-- even that Alex liked. The weather was nice. We joked and skipped our way through grocery shopping. I even... *sigh* After denying a purchase request multiple times, then coming home, I finally authorized a bajillion Christmases, and Alex bought two of these:

I planted Spring (English) peas in the Eastern one, and I said, "We need to be sure and water them every day, and we need to check on 'em because they are going to spring up and go like crazy!" SO every day we go look at the peas... at least once. No more than eight times... so far. Honest.

Yes, I meant to plant them that close together. C'mon, I know what I'm doing.

I told Alex it would be really nice to send a dish of peas to church during Lent-- just lightly steamed to make them bright and shiny, maybe a pinch of salt, maybe not. So we look on the packet, and he says, "Seventy days to harvest! We can serve them after Lent with butter!" But the packet also says seven to fourteen days until germination, and on this seventh day, what we see is a might past what I'd call 'germination':

Obviously, this will be continued...

I'm sprouting some lettuce in an egg carton and will plant in the Western planter:

I have plenty more room in both after that, too! This is the black krim tomato in a kitty litter container, which continues to ripen. The plant has also put forth another bloom.

So here's the pruned cherry tomato plant, currently:

I think pruning was the right choice!! Here's from last Sunday:

Here's an update on the lemon plant (today/last Saturday):

A while back, (artisan, no less!) red onions went on sale so I bought a bag. Red onions are a treat. I had one sprout so I put it in with the scallions I'm growing:

 

The (eldest) blueberry bush has green growth and ... buds?  Left. It was hard to focus on that thin branch. My camera kept saying, 'Pictures of grass? Coming up!' Because inanimate objects speak to me... or Bird. Yeah a little Birdie was translating camera speak into dog. I know dog.

Kitty couldn't take it anymore! She heard the shutter clicking:

From left to right basil, succulent left from decorating the cross (forget why[Alex: Feast of the Holy Cross]) for the mission here (I'm trying my darndest to sprout what seems to be an immortal form of greenery. I've seen 'gel' and maybe maybe some root nubs, but the cats keep drinking the water!), Kitty, Greek oregano --just one lil' sprout under her paw. I have a ton in the front yard and can start anyone who wants a plant, though. Trotsky in particular likes to sit there and nibble the (far right) parsley of which you may be eating some tomorrow* so I've set up the barricade of the tiny pot and teacup in which... I think... are some cucumber and pepper seeds; though, we've failed to water them so no sprouts.

Respectfully,

Mother of CAMO BEAR*, a distant relation to the panda