My journey to Orthodoxy, Part 2

Hattiesburg, Mississippi, is a strange place.  It's a university town, defined by its relationship with the University of Southern Mississippi and to a lesser extent William Carey University.  It's the county seat of Forrest County, named for Nathan Bedford Forrest.  And it's been my home for the past ten years.

I knew when I moved to Hattiesburg that there were no Orthodox churches for at least an hour's drive.  In 2003, I still drove to Jackson about twice a month to attend Liturgy at Holy Trinity Church.  The hardest thing was the discipline to attend divine services.  Once I slacked off on divine services, I slacked off on prayer.  I was caught in a world of hedonism and despair.  This really qualifies as my wasted youth, even though I was 27 at the time.

I found a ROCOR mission in Semmes, Alabama, and I attended sporadically.  It was a difficult thing to drive from Hattiesburg to Semmes, passing along US Highway 98 eastbound through the most depressing slog of two-lane garbage I'd ever seen.  But the church community was warm and welcoming, and Fr. Alexander and Matushka fostered a great Christian spirit.  During this time, I recovered some of my youthful interest and involvement in the church, and most of all, my interest in something other than the world.

My Journey to Orthodoxy, part 1.

My journey to Orthodoxy is not normally considered a journey.  I was born into an Orthodox family, and I was baptized about 40 days after my birth, and I grew up as an altar server, and singing in the church choir, and in general receiving a first-class youth of instruction in practical Orthodoxy.  I learned how to be a reader, and I learned chanting in the Greek, Antiochian, and Russian styles.

But in college, as is often typical, I fell away from the Church.  I stopped going to Liturgy regularly, and I was only an occasional churchgoer.  I attended church regularly when I was at home with my parents, but I had never been someone who didn't have a job in church.  I had never known how to worship without something to do.

And so for a long time I was C and E (Christmas and Easter).  And when I moved to Jackson, Mississippi, after law school, I began attending Holy Trinity and St. John the Theologian Greek Orthodox Church.  In contrast to the stereotype of old Greek parishes, I found a welcoming community struggling through the change from being a city church with a city congregation to being a city church with a suburban congregation.   Eventually, the church had to move away from its historic location on West Capitol Street to its new home in Ridgeland, and I pray God that they are doing well there.

After I moved to Hattiesburg, I again lapsed.

Forgive me, but I will continue later.  It's time to listen to two sociopaths lie to the country again.

I am the Choir

Being part of a mission church can be very wearing when you feel like the only person who knows what's going on.  This is the hardest part of Holy Cross: the unjust resentment that I feel from time to time regarding the responsibilities of the mission.  In truth, we have a small, dedicated team who each do their part, the most important of which is showing up for divine services.  The primary mission of Holy Cross Orthodox Mission Church is to help each of us reach theosis.

Theosis is the ultimate goal of the Christian life.  Oneness with God is the ultimate goal of the salvific process, but the process of salvation is not an individual process.  It is one that we engage in as a community.  St. Paul St. Augustine says, "What I am for you frightens me, but what I am with you comforts me.  For you I am a bishop, but with you I am a Christian."  St. Augustine, Sermon 340 (On the anniversary of his ordination).  This is the true feeling that taking even a small leadership role in the church engenders.

Those of us who are called to these roles are called to confront our fears to aid in the process of salvation, rather than to become stumbling blocks for our fellow Christians.  This is why St. Paul tells us that we must serve in accordance with our gifts, for if we do not, then we get in the way of each other.  Resentment, regret, and frustration are all symptoms of the spiritual disease of despair.  We must have hope, and worship together in hope, and together buoy each other with our hope, that we may achieve salvation.